When Rest Feels Like Guilt: A Story of Unlearning

I used to believe I couldn’t rest until everything was done.
And I always felt there was more I could be doing.

Even now, these thoughts still echo in the background sometimes.
But I’ve learned: It’s never all done.
Here’s what is helping me to unlearn that.

I grew up with a loving father. A man who finds his satisfaction in life through achievement.
Someone who is always working on something. Fixing, creating, improving.
He never seemed to have enough time for all the things he wanted to do.
He has high standards, especially toward himself.
I absorbed that.

And because I was a daddy’s girl, I wanted to impress him.
Because his pride felt like love. Like sunshine.
And when I felt how his eyes shone when I created something beautiful, I bloomed.

Not because he didn’t love me otherwise.
But because his pride was tied to doing, not just being.

When love and pride seem to come after you achieve something, your brain learns:
“This is the way to be loved. This is how I matter.”

So I learned:
If I’m creative, productive, or high-achieving, I am lovable.

The fact is, this belief got me far.
It shaped my future and without it I would not be where I am today.

But it also taught me to skip rest.
Rest felt like a guilty pleasure I had to “earn.”

Now?
I’m unlearning all of that.

I schedule rest.
And I honour my circadian rhythm, my cycle, my seasons.
Because I’ve seen what happens when I don’t.

I get sick.
I lose motivation.
I feel disconnected from my own creativity.

I’m training myself to rest without guilt.
Not just one hour (though that helps, too). But full days. Even a week at a time.
Little trips. Silence. Nature. Play.

Rest isn’t stealing time from my goals. It’s what makes them possible.
Creativity doesn’t thrive in urgency. It lives in the space I create by slowing down.

And the more I experience how much clarity, energy, creativity, and focus I return with after deep rest, the easier it gets to treat rest not as a reward, but as helpful maintenance.
As an act of self-love.
A portal back to myself.

Neuroscience shows:
✨ When your nervous system is relaxed, your imagination opens.
✨ Our best ideas come when we’re not actively “thinking.”
✨ Our most powerful clarity happens when we walk, in the shower, or just lie down.
✨ Pressure narrows our thinking (fight/flight mode), while rest opens us to possibility, novelty, and intuition.

Productivity doesn’t define your worth.
You don’t have to earn rest.
You are worthy of it.
Now. As you are.

🔍 Your Personal Relationship with Rest