My journey to a healthy relationship with money

I didn’t grow up poor, but not rich either. Yet as a little girl, I already felt the power money could have over family life. I still remember when the company my father worked at went bankrupt. For months, he didn’t receive a salary, and while he hoped things would eventually get back on track, my mother, with three young children, was struggling to pay the bills. I could feel the tension between them.

Since my father was unemployed several times, I decided early on that I never wanted to be dependent on a man or let money become a source of conflict. And I promised myself I would only have children once I felt financially secure.

Expert in delayed gratification

I learned how to handle money at an early age partly thanks to my parents. If I wanted new clothes instead of second-hand ones, I had to buy them myself. We received weekly pocket money for doing household chores, so I quickly connected money with self-responsibility: If I wanted something, I had to do something for it. I learned to set priorities and to let go of short-term desires to achieve long-term goals.

And I had a big one: I wanted to buy a horse. So I became an expert in delayed gratification. At 10 years old, I babysat for 5 francs an hour and saved nearly everything I earned. By the time I was 18, after countless side jobs, I had finally saved enough money.

But at that point, I no longer wanted a horse.
Instead, I discovered travelling.

My life felt fulfilling, but one thing remained: The painful feeling of spending money and truly allowing myself something. I was so used to holding back.

And it wasn’t just about money. Even as a child, I saved beautiful things instead of enjoying them. Like the glitter pens I once received as a gift that eventually dried up, untouched.
Years later, as an adult, I finally lit a candle I saved for decades while taking a bath in the very first apartment I bought. That small act felt like a breakthrough.

My limiting beliefs

• “Investing is only for rich people.”
• “I’m not good enough for a higher salary.”
• “You have to work hard to earn money.”
• “It’s better not to take risks.”
• “The only way to get rich is by exploiting others.”

These beliefs kept me small.

From saving to a healthy relationship with money

The turning point came when I stopped seeing money as something to hold on to and began to view as something that flows, that comes and goes. Spending on myself became an act of self-care and a statement of worthiness.

I began to invest in myself and to allow things that nourish me: Further educations, mentorings, regular massages, high-quality products. And with those shifts, money started to flow with more ease.

The more intentionally I spent, the more opportunities appeared: In business, in relationships, and in my own sense of freedom.

When money becomes a barrier

Our mind is programmed to avoid pain and seek pleasure. If money is linked to stress or conflict for you, you’ll naturally avoid it: You don’t talk about it, you don’t deal with it and you stay stuck.

The good news: A positive relationship with money can be learned.
Shift your focus consciously to what money can make possible for you.

Money is neutral. It’s neither good nor bad. It’s a tool.

With money you can do great things:

• Support your family
• Buy healthy food
• Fulfill dreams
• Help others
• Support small businesses that care about your values

And like any tool, it only unfolds its power when you use it consciously for yourself and for what truly matters to you in life.

Tools for your money mindset

1. Talk about money. With your partner, family, or friends.
2. Invest in yourself: Your health, your education, your dreams.
3. Define your “enough”: There’s an incredibly powerful exercise I love to do with my clients, and it always surprises them. Figure out the amount of money or lifestyle that gives you freedom and security without being possessed by possessions.

Takeaway

Your relationship with money is more decisive than the number in your bank account.
It determines whether money is a tool for you or a burden.
It decides whether you think in scarcity or in possibilities.

There are countless practices to help you shift into an abundance mindset. But real change begins with small steps, and reflection is one of the most powerful ones.

Just as I learned to let money flow and to see it as a tool that supports my growth, you too can reshape your relationship with it. To get you started, here are a few journaling questions to guide you into your own discoveries.

🔍 Your Personal Relationship with Money